Child of Tragedy: Protector of Blood
by Kaltes
Summary: Hawke was raised to be the shield, the one that kept her family from danger. Protector, never protected. Her flight from Ferelden and life in Kirkwall will challenge her beliefs and abilities at every turn, as well as push her already strained relationship with those she swore to protect. Finally, when it all comes down will she be able to salvage even a single shred of herself?


Disclaimer: I quite clearly do not own Dragon Age!

**Chapter One: Escape**

"How much farther…sister?" the weakness in her brother's voice made Kael grit her teeth, tightening the arm that was wrapped securely around Carver's shoulders in support. She had pulled the arrow from his side over a day ago and was ironically thankful that it had been an arrow from their own army and not that of the Darkspawn. She had done her best to stitch and bind the wound with her limited supplies but her brother was obviously still in pain. When the beacon was lit and Loghain failed to sound for the charge, Carver and her had been among those that had tried to make it down to help the Wardens and King of their own volition. Their reward had been a shower of arrows from Loghain's personal guard atop the ridge; the attack that left her brother in the sorry state he now was in. They had been lucky to make it to the trees before Kael was struck down as well.

"I can see the top of the Lothering Chantry over the trees." She smiled over at him, offering him a portion of her optimism to help keep his spirits up, "We're almost home. Then Bethany can work her magic like she always does."

As Carver began to respond that she shouldn't be saying that so close to home, a low rumble and soft vibration pricked up Kael's ears and she stopped the two of them in their tracks. "What is it?" hissed her brother quietly; knowing better than to think his sister would stop without cause.

"Horses." She mouthed and Carver nodded grimly in response, motioning quickly to the bushes at the edge of the road and she ushered her brother forward, burying him among the shrubs and darkness. Placing a finger to her lips close enough that Carver could see she then moved off to take up a protective post behind one of the large trees around him. Silently Kael removed the short bow that was strapped to her pack and pulled one of the arrows from her quiver, setting her aim at rider height back at the road. It wasn't a moment until the distant rumble turned into full-fledged galloping as two riders barrelled down the road; the Mac Tir crest glistening across their chest plates. Kael's heart clenched, anger surging up as she thought of what that bastard had possibly done to the future of Ferelden. It was the second set of riders they had encounter since fleeing the battlefield and the conversation they had overheard earlier had made it abundantly clear that they were hunting down those branded traitors; whether they be deserters or Wardens.

The thought of the Grey Wardens almost made Kael loose the arrow nocked in her bow as the fury rose in her. All of Ferelden's population of Grey Wardens had been on that battlefield, and though Kael was no expert at the game of politics, she had a good idea of just why Loghain had abandoned the entire order and their own King Cailen to their deaths. She remembered the faces, those that belonged to the Wardens whom she had befriended across a fire or over a pint of ale; Kehren of the casteless, Valencia a beautiful Dalish warrior whose passion for life had reminded Kael so much of her sister, the shy young man Ryland who had blushed every time she merely looked his way, and others whose names she had never learned yet had shared in both celebration and apprehension with her.

"Sister." The pained whisper almost made Kael slap herself for her stupidity and distraction as the riders had long disappeared out of sight and left the two of them behind. Kael shook her head, dispelling the tears that had begun to form in her eyes at the thought of all those who had died, and knelt beside Carver. "I don't want to walk anymore…the pain…" a hiss whistled through his teeth, his eyelids snapping shut in response to the pain.

She hesitated for a moment, trying to decide the best course of action but decided the risk was not great. "Stay hidden, I will return with Bethany." She placed a gentle kiss on her brother's forehead and forced herself to smile brightly at him, managing to coax a pained smirk from him in return, "Don't die, got it?"

"Understood." He replied with a rasp of pathetic laughter as he laid his head back against the cool ground, "And sister?" he called as she began to walk away from him, "try not to get distracted on the walk."

Kael cast her brother a fleeting smile before she ran towards the roofs barely visible over the treeline in the darkness. Her legs were already screaming at her but as she ran she felt the adrenaline she thought all used up surging through her once more at the thought of how desperately she needed to hurry. It was only a few minutes before her mother's home came into view and Kael nearly ran forward without another thought until she saw the horses standing around the front of the building. Jaw tightening, Kael dropped her pack at the edge of the woods relying on her stealth and her twin daggers. Hugging the shadows and darkness like a second skin she slinked towards the house, pressing herself against the side wall.

"Dead?" it was her mother's voice, "My children? Dead?" There was desperate anguish in Leandra Hawke's voice as she whispered in disbelief to the man standing at the door.

"Dead, or as good as dead." Muttered the man minding the horses, "They were traitors the both of them, now they are either dead or deserters, and if it's the latter we will find them." Kael couldn't stop the smirk from sliding across her lips thinking of what a good job they had done of that so far.

"Leave. Now." Bethany's voice was strong and commanding, something Kael had never heard before and she knew that her younger sister truly believed she was all that mother had left. Kael's heart swelled to know that her sister's strength and independence had developed so much while her and Carver were away, training for the army. Kael heard the soldiers mount up and start trotting away from the house, once they were out of sight she heard her mother give a shriek of pure anguish.

Quickly Kael flitted to the front door which was still open to see Bethany cradling her mother tightly in her arms. "It's okay mother, you know they wouldn't leave us like this. They'll be home soon enough, so there is nothing to cry about." Bethany was stroking Leandra's hair gently, as the matron of the Hawke family sobbed uncontrollably.

"Sooner than you think, sister." Kael took a moment to smirk at the two stunned faces before seizing the two of them in a tight embrace. When she pulled away she looked directly into Bethany's eyes, "I need you to follow me, Carver needs you." Making sure the seriousness of the situation was conveyed, her sister nodded briefly and quickly got to her feet to her cloak from her bed room.

"Is he…?" their mother whispered quietly, tears still escaping to roll down her cheeks though there was a clear hint of relief in her eyes.

"He'll be fine, once Bethany looks at him." Kael reassured her mother, taking her hand and squeezing it tightly in her own. Kael looked up to find her sister ready and waiting, her determination shining in her eyes. "We'll be back in no time mother." Kael placed a soft kiss on Leandra's temple before leading Bethany from the house after she checked to make sure there was no sign of Loghain's soldiers still milling about. "This way." Whispered Kael in the darkness, taking her sister's hand and leading her towards the woods; retrieving her discarded pack on the way.

Bethany stumbled blindly through the underbrush, clutching to her elder sister's hand like it was a lifeline. Neither of Kael's siblings had grown to love the outdoors as she had, she was a hunter and gatherer and after their father had died she had been the only thing that kept them from starvation. Leandra was strong woman, but she lacked the necessary survival skills that Kael had spent years acquiring under the guidance of her father and other villagers. "What happened sister?" questioned Bethany's soft voice in the darkness of the trees.

"To sum up, a traitor and a massacre." Snapped Kael bitterly, thoughts of Loghain doing nothing fuelling her rage. "The King is dead, and alongside him all of the Grey Wardens in Ferelden perished as well. We will need to run Bethany…in the next few days we will have to leave. With no Grey Wardens and the army caught up in Loghain's madness, the darkspawn horde will spread unabated and Lothering will be their first stop."

"How…how could this happen?" the fear in her sister's voice was palpable and Kael squeezed her hand gently.

"Don't worry sister, we'll be long gone before they get to us. We can't afford to stay much longer than a few days. Carver?" called Kael, having reached the place where her brother had hidden.

"Here." His voice was raspy but Kael was relieved that he hadn't lost consciousness from his injuries. "I'm happy…to see you…Beth." Bethany was at his side in a moment, kneeling in the dirt and sweeping the hair from her twin's forehead. She didn't even speak as a soft glow began emanating from her fingers as they hovered over Carver's wounded side. Kael lingered back, maintaining the established natural distance she had always had from her siblings, trusting in the ability they always had to know exactly what the other needed. Kael understood the separation she had been inclined to maintain between her siblings and herself, yet understanding didn't mean that it was what she wanted. Carver and Bethany had come into this world together and the bond they shared was stronger than anything she had ever seen before. Their knowledge of what the other required had spanned their entire lives, like they shared some private link that Kael could never be a part of. She always felt like an intruder, like she was left out of some private joke that she could never understand. Envy of their closeness had always driven her even further away from them as she spent more time in the woods and less and less time within the home her mother had built for them. It had been her silent hope that her time with Carver in Ostagar would inspire a close relationship with her brother, but all hopes of that had floundered as he fell in with the soldiers, equally as hungry for glory as he was. Kael hadn't wanted to leave her mother or Bethany, fearing that the Templars would find them in her absence, but Leandra had demanded that she go to protect her brother. It was her responsibility, her charge to defend them all, but they didn't understand that they were always stronger as a unit, stronger together.

"Sister?" Carver's voice snapped Kael from her thoughts, as her vacant eyes slid back into focus and attention. Carver was on his feet, the wound to his side evaporated as if into the air and Bethany was supporting him with her arm. "Are you with us?" his voice contained the mockery that she had grown accustom to over the years and its return made Kael's heart sore in relief. She may not be close with them, but her unconditional love for them ran deeper than any other feeling she had ever experienced.

Kael offered up a gentle smile that was probably lost in the darkness of the night, "We should get back to mother." Was her quiet reply as she stepped away from them, taking up her position as leader in the woods she knew better than her own mind. Behind her Bethany and Carver talked in hushed tones, always quiet enough to elude even Kael's hearing, always enough to make her heart ache with longing for a relationship such as theirs. She wanted a brother she could spar with while avoiding the worry over competition or envy; a sister with whom she could share all her secrets, no matter how embarrassing or dark. Instead, Kaelianna Hawke remained introverted and independent, always.

"Oh thank the Maker you're alive!" Leandra was pacing in front of the house when Kael walked out of the woods, stepping quickly to the side as the terrified mother rushed to seize her only son in her arms. Carver tentatively wrapped his arms around his mother, clearly feeling embarrassed about such a display of affection. From over his shoulder the woman glared at her eldest daughter, "Why didn't you tell me that he was okay?" Kael offered her mother an apologetic smile and a shrug in response and in a moment Leandra had released her son and seized her first born in a strangle hold of an embrace. "When they told me you were both dead, I…I…" Leandra choked on her words and buried her face in Kael's shoulder, weeping loudly.

Kael gently wrapped her arms around the woman, realizing how much she had missed her mother during her foray into the army. "Everything is fine mother," Kael ran a tender hand over Leandra's long hair, "We are all home now, and still breathing as well." Pulling away she gave Leandra a teasing grin and her mother let loose a frustrated sigh.

"You are my husband's child, not a serious bone in your body when it comes to my fears." Kael's grin only grew under the scowl from her mother and eventually Leandra succumbed with a brief curve of her lips; she always did.

"Come, we should get inside before another duo of soldiers trots out of the woods." Bethany encouraged and Kael noticed her straining under the weight of her twin, "Carver needs to rest as well."

Kael was fitting her arm underneath her brother to provide support in the next instant and then carefully moving him towards the house. Bethany smiled at her in thanks and Kael nodded with a smile of her own. "Come on you big oaf, it's about time you got some sleep don't you think?" Carver gave a grunt and shot her a half-hearted grin as she lowered him down till he was sitting on the bed. "Carver…you need to sleep as much as possible, we will be leaving Lothering the moment you are recovered."

Kael's teeth ground against one another as Carver shot her a daggered glare, "We will discuss this as a family sister, I will not allow you to uproot my mother and sister without reason. We have been through enough of this!" His fists were clenched his side as he stared straight into Kael's eyes and she let out an exhausted sigh before she stood up and walked to the door, fighting the tears that she refused to let them see. "Sister…"

There was remorse in his voice that tugged at her heart, but she heard annoyance there as well so she did not turn. Holding her head high and supressing the hurt in her heart she whispered quietly through gritted teeth; "They are also _my_ family, as are you." It was all she could do not to slam the door behind her.

"How is he?" asked Bethany worriedly, getting to her feet while maintaining a hold on her mother's hand.

Kael offered the two of them the mask which she had mastered over the years, the one her father had taught her. "He just needs sleep now. And so do you." Kael put a comforting hand on Bethany's shoulder, "Hopefully if you are rested you will be able to speed along his recovery even more. Get some sleep." Impulsively Kael pulled her sister into a tight hug, which Bethany returned hesitantly, "I love you sister." When she pulled away, Kael placed a hand on her cheek, "And I'm so proud of the person you are."

Bethany offered Kael the dazzling smile that never failed win over a single soul, and tenderly took her older sister's hand in her own. "Thank you sister, for everything." Kael kept her eyes locked on those soft brown orbs belonging to her sister for a moment until Bethany knelt down, saying a kind goodnight to Leandra.

Once Bethany had retreated into the room that belonged to the two Hawke daughters, the eldest child collapsed onto the floor with a quiet thud. Gently Kael folded her legs across one another, feeling the agonizing ache start to settle into her straining muscles. She began the slow process of massaging the stiffness from her body, rubbing her hands roughly up and down her thighs. As everything that happened on the battlefield began to sink in, the continuous and controlled motions kept her from losing herself to panic. Focusing on the movement of her hands down to her calves helped to slow her racing heartbeat and keep her breathing from growing erratic. Her focus was so direct she was startled as she felt thin but firm hands close on her shoulders. "I never should have let you go, I'm sorry my child." Leandra's hands massaged the aching muscles along Kael's back and she found herself leaning into her mother's comforting touch. "Thank you for bringing your brother home safe to us, and for everything else you've done since your father passed. You've grown up…all of you have grown up so fast." At the sound of her mother's voice breaking in and out of control Kael turned around and hugged her close, trying to give her whatever comfort she could.

"Don't cry mother…we're all still kicking, screaming and causing trouble right? There's nothing to get upset about." Murmured Kael into her mother's trembling shoulder, "We're a family, and we are going to make it through this." Kael pulled away from Leandra and smiled her very best for the older woman, placing both hands squarely on her shoulders.

"You have all the best qualities of your father little bird. He would be so proud of all that you have done for this family." The thought of her father being proud of her made Kael's heart swell with happiness, everything she did she did so in his memory and for the legacy he had left to her.

"Thank you…mother." Whispered Kael, forcing down the tears that threatened to overwhelm her, the stress put on her mind was starting to beat out the perfectly trained mask. "We need to go to sleep now, we have much to discuss come morning." Kael pushed herself to her feet and turned away, "I'll be outside." She called quietly, exiting through the back door and into their small yard before her mother could protest; Kael was finally able to breathe when she inhaled the fresh air.

A small whine caught her attention and she immediately knelt down, opening her arms to her closest companion. Instantly his scratchy fur was pressed up against her face as his slobbery tongue lapped at her ear. "I missed you too Jaxx, but I'm home now." She scraped her fingernails along the mabari's back and he let out a satisfied grunt, "Forgive me?" she asked feeling a true smile grace her lips as the hound flopped clumsily onto his back in an attempt to coax her into scratching his stomach. Gently she ran her hand over his rough fur as he nuzzled his head against her lap, grumbling contentedly. "Do you want to help me take care of something boy?" The hound seemed to nod against her leg and as Kael got to her feet he trotted along at her side. "You have to be quiet though, okay?" Jaxx's silence was enough of an answer and Kael started to jog through the woods alongside the road.

It didn't take long to come upon what she was looking for, their fire was down to glistening coals and two horses were grazing off to the side. The older officer who had done most of the talking to Bethany and her mother was asleep in his bedroll, snoring loudly. The younger soldier was sitting on a rock with his back to where Kael was hidden in the woods. "Too easy." Whispered the woman lowly, giving a swift motion with her hand to signal Jaxx to stay put and stay quiet.

Drawing her dagger, Kael silently snuck towards the unsuspecting soldier. Her blood was pounding in her ears along with her heartbeat, killing was something she didn't think she would ever get used to. Protecting her family was her paramount concern however, and a little more blood on her hands mattered little. Before she could think about regret she had yanked the sharp edge of her blade deeply across the soldier's throat and in a few moments the gurgling sound died along with the man. The thud of the dead soldier hitting the ground caused the officer to begin rousing but before he became aware, Kael had him pinned to the ground her bloody knife dripping crimson rubies down his neck. "Apparently I'm not quite as dead as you thought."

"You're the Hawke bitch?" gritted the man through his teeth, his body completely tensed as he anticipated the blade sinking into his throat.

"The one and only." The cruel smirk that slid onto Kael's lips was a result of his earlier threats, "You realize that your orders come from the man who doomed Ferelden? That Loghain Mac Tir destroyed our only hope of saving this country if this is a Blight?" Kael's eyes narrowed and she let the blade sink into his skin enough that his own blood mingled with that of his companion. "Can you tell me why?"

Finally the man's fear registered in his eyes as he stared into Kael's empty mask, "We were just following our general's orders. Who are we to go against our commanding officer, we're just soldiers."

Kael's lips curled into something near a snarl, "You're not just a soldier, you are a _Ferelden_. You and others like you sentenced our own King to death at the hands of the darkspawn. Treason." She spat venomously, "And treason means execution." The blade came across his throat easily before he could mount any protest and his blood, his life, poured from the gouge it left behind.

Kael did not linger, retreating back to where her mabari waited patiently and she knelt down once she reached him. Jaxx made a slight whimper before lapping his tongue across her blood covered hand. "Thanks boy." Using her other hand Kael scratched her companion behind his ears, "We should get back, do you want to keep watch with me until morning?" The mabari woofed quietly and shoved his large head into Kael's legs. Kneeling down and pulling her companion into a hug nearly put the woman in tears as she buried her face in his coarse fur. Immediately she started to regulate her breathing, stroking the mabari in long deliberate movements she managed to rein in her emotions. Pulling back, Kael scratched the hound affectionately but he continued to stare up at her with huge, sorrowful eyes. "I'm okay boy." She reassured the beast, "Let's go?" Together they faded into the darkness, leaving behind an all too familiar scene of death that echoed any threat made to the Hawke family.

Kael woke up late the next morning, having finally consented to sleep in her bed when her mother ventured out at dawn to find her eldest practically asleep on her feet. Her dreams had been haunted by the faces of the men she'd killed, the fear and shame in the officer's eyes as she'd questioned him was more haunting than it should have been. She had heard that Loghain doubted the nature of the incursion to be that of a true Blight, but to intentionally abandon King Cailan to his demise was unforgivable. He was not the king that his father had been, but he was still the Ferelden monarch and had fought valiantly in the name of his country. Kael considered trying to sleep for a little bit longer but dismissed the notion as the faces of her Grey Warden friends floated before her closed eyes. On her feet in the next instant, Kael dressed herself quickly and stepped out into the main room of the house. A small plate of breakfast lay unattended on the table and immediately the eldest Hawke child claimed it as her own.

Carver was seated at the other end of the table but Kael refused to be the first one to break the silence that always found its way between them. "Sister I do not think—" it was not the start of an apology but that of a rebuttal, so the elder Hawke sister interrupted him immediately.

"You and I are wanted for treason and desertion. If this is a Blight, Lothering will be overrun in a matter of weeks. We haven't got a choice brother. There will be others seeking us out, Loghain will want to snuff out any chance of dissension being spread amongst our people and that means all of us who tried to fight must disappear. I intend to make that disappearance one of our own choosing." Kael regarded her younger brother levelly, letting her cold seriousness imply the dire nature of their situation.

He looked as if he was going to challenge her further for a moment before his eyes dropped to the table in front of him. "Where would you have us go?" he muttered, clearly put out by her logic and rationality. Kael understood his reluctance to leave, he was quite taken with one of the village girls and was loathe to lose her. Of all of them the constant moving was most painful for him because it was a decision that had always been made for him.

"There will be soldiers seeking us. I plan to take us in the last direction they would expect us to go." Replied Kael cryptically, getting to her feet as both Bethany and Leandra entered the home. "We must move again," she said sadly to both mother and sister, "It will not be safe for us here. When will Carver be fit for travel?" Kael directed the question towards her younger sister, whose eyes reflected the downcast nature of her twin's.

"I am right here sister. I can answer for myself." Snapped Carver irately, clearly hating the way his older sister always treated him like a child, but it was the way she had learned to deal with his insolence and temper.

Kael turned her cold eyes on the so called man of the house in a glare, "Then answer." She snapped impatiently, itching to get out of the house. Carver averted his eyes childishly and when Kael turned back to her sister, Bethany also seemed reluctant to answer as she chewed indecisively on her lower lip. "Four days then. I will return in three to gather my things, please be ready to leave and only bring necessities."

Quickly Kael made to move around her mother and sister into the open air, the glares of her brother and reluctance of the others was suffocating her. "Little bird, don't go." Leandra's voice was pained, almost succeeding in stopping her eldest daughter from her retreat, "We should talk about this as a family and make a decision."

Kael stopped mid step, wrapping her arms around her torso, "We cannot stay in Lothering. And while Loghain controls the country, we can no more remain in Ferelden and expect to be safe. If we travel away from the horde we will be easily identified by those we are forced to travel with, so we will skirt behind them as they march on civilization. We will make our way towards the coast and find the ideal place to flee to from there." Kael refused to wait for their protests, it was what she had decided was the best course of action and eventually they would recognize why.

Making for the woods she was stopped just as she reached the edge by a hand on her wrist, "Sister please, wait." It was Bethany's gentle voice and Kael felt her emotions soften at her younger sister's presence. "It is a good plan. I want to thank you for always doing your best to keep all of us from harm's way." Kael turned reluctantly towards the younger Hawke daughter and offered her a grateful smile, "I will make sure they are prepared, and work on Carver's attitude."

"I will see you soon Bethany. Make sure you are well rested as well, it will be a hard journey." Kael placed a firm hand on the younger woman's shoulder and squeezed reassuringly before fading into the woods that were the closest thing she had to a place that felt like home since her father had died.


End file.
